daily bread

Family Jayspero have been off galivanting. Last you heard I was in Rivendell soaking up that sacred spot with Jayber minus small children. Then back to pack frantically for a family trip to the Oregon Coast, including 2 midnight flits (we lost leave of our senses) and then back to unpack and collapse before Jayber gets back into the dark depths of the library and Sping School.

Thankful highlights:

• sun shine, splashing in the pool, watching Eli encounter that much water for the first time
• some child free shopping
• Riding on the Carousel with my boys
• Powell’s book store in Portland. It takes up and entire city block sells new and used side by side and is very very cool.
• That our children behaved on our visit to Powell’s
• Watching the sun go down on the oregon coast
• Finding that the sand there is exactly the same as the sand on the Strand, even the smell. Made me glad to be going back.
• Getting across the border within 10mins – a bloody miracle.
• Being able to explore the Pacific Northwest without having to fly anywhere
• Reading Chesil Beach. Fantastic
• Starting to run again.
• Finding 2 gluten free restaurants in Portland and having Yam fries in one of them. Yum-my.

I’m here in Rivendell, one of the most sacred spots I have ever visited.

Rivendell is on the top of a hill on a small island just off the coast of Vancouver, a 15 minute ferry journey away. The story goes that a developer had bought up most of the land on this island and felt God telling him that the land at the top of the hill was to be given to him. The developer was a christian and was glad to do this and starting trying to work out what God was going to do with this land. He tried to get a school built here, another time he approached Regent to have a special learning centre here, he had many good plans but every time his plans came to nothing.

Years later, and a couple have just come into a sudden windfall. They decide they wanted to use all the money to build a retreat centre, a special place that anyone could come to regardless of their financial situation. Somehow, someone put them and the developer in touch and 1 year to the day that they first met, Rivendell opened it’s doors. That day the developer and the couple handed Rivendell over to God. They do not control it, in fact no-one owns Rivendell. It’s is run by a community of volunteers who take it in turns to come for short stays to houseparent it.

This is not like the retreat centres we have in Ireland. This have been decorated simply and beautifully with comfort and peace the 2 main concerns. Every room is en-suite and every room has a view out over the island and the mountains. It is all by donation, you pay what you can afford and they regularly bring up groups from the most disadvantaged areas of Vancouver to stay.

The minute you step in the door of this place you know there is something different about it. You can smell it in the air, feel it in your bones. This is God’s place, a place of sanctuary, peace and space. A place where you know you will be blessed and loved.

I’m thankful for the obedience of the developer and the couple. I’m thankful for our dear, crazy friend Joh who is looking after our kids while we are here for a few days.

I’m away to soak up a bit more blessing…..

Caleb and I read the story of David and Goliath before bed tonight. Here’s Caleb’s summary:

‘ So, God says we should throw stones at bad people so they will die. But only if they are really bad’.

I tried to steer the conversation toward God helping us when we are scared and feel little but Caleb was more interested in the understanding the key differences between Jesus and God.

“Mummy, do Jesus and God have the same hair?’

” Well Caleb, if they did what kind of hair would they have?’

” I think it’s curly and blue and purple and white. I think’.

Who am I to argue?

A Mother’s Day post that ended up on espero.

Having a picnic in the courtyard with Caleb and his wee friend Joe and listening to them make up stories together about witches and castles and goblins and princesses, getting so excited they forgot to eat. I love seeing the raw imaginations of kids this age and the worlds they create.

Did I mention that I’m a bit of a worrier?

Ok, so truth be told it’s not just about financial things, also about medical things.

I’ve had a weird recurrent growth in my mouth and finally went to the Dr today who told me, of course, that its just a weird wee cyst and nothing to worry about.

Phew.

Today I am thankful for Rhetro, my father-in-law.

It is well known that I can be a wee worrier. Particularly about all things financial. So I got myself into a wee pickle with Paypal UK (looong story about paying things online form Canada) which kept going in and out of my radar until this week when I learned they were sending threatening letters talking about solicitors and the like. Cue panicked, frantic activity trying to sort it all out which turned out was impossible from here.

At this point our hero enters the story. Soon as Rhet knew I was fretting he just took it off my hands and piff, paff, poof, sorted it all out.

I’m thankful for the amazing family I belong to and how well they know and love me.

Me, ” Have you something you want to say to me?’.

Him, ‘ Huh?’.

Me, ‘You’re sure there is nothing you think you might want to say to me TODAY?”

‘Huh?’.

Me, with hurt-pissed-off look on my face, ” Let me make this simple: WHAT MIGHT YOU HAVE FORGOT ABOUT THAT WOULD HURT MY FEELINGS’.

Him, now with the fear of God in him and going slightly pale, “ummm….today? …….eh…… Oh shit.’

Him, eyes wide, seeking some sign of mercy in my face, ‘ happy anniversary’.

Cue long, uncomfortable pause.

Far too easy. He’s such a sucker. I milk it for a few more minutes and then confess: I only realized 5 mins earlier because I got an e-mail from a friend who always remembers these things.

You’d think after 7 years he’d finally work out when I’m winding him up, but oh it is sooo much fun.

I’m thankful for 7 years of friendship and love, hardwork and laughter. 7 years of seeing each other at our glittering best and our beat-up, broken worst. We are not the people we thought we were when we made those vows – we couldn’t see the reams of baggage we were bringing with us nor did we know ourselves very well. But marriage is both merciless and full of grace. We find ourselves utterly exposed, the truth of who we really are is finally known and it is then that those promises and that covenant finally make sense. I have been seen, found out, known and heard and yet I am loved and accepted. You’re promising to stay, to work out it out, to nurse me through it, cheer me on, hold my hair while I puke, be proud of me, tell me to wise up when I need it, and look at me with eyes of love.

Me too.

Thank you.

Wee skype chat with my mum-in-law who I love dearly. She’s always good for a natter and a dose of wisdom.

I’m not always very good at asking for help, or rather I ask for help but always feel dreadfully guilty for asking. The Mullan’s are pretty amazing at making you feel like they can think of nothing they would rather do than help you out. That is a gift.

Thank you Shazzie and Beeth for agreeing to come and unpack and sort my house before I come home!

Finding a brand new guidebook in the library to plan and anticipate our hols.